Does Everyone Lie to Their Significant Other?
You know the people — the Tigers (Woods) of the world. The boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/partner who is a cheater. Obviously to be a cheater, they need to lie at some point to keep that concealed. Somehow, they make it through life decently even after they’ve been revealed to be a scumbag. Hate those people.
Then there are the types that just lie. They aren’t cheaters, but they lie all the time about where they are, what they’re doing. Maybe it’s to avoid their clingy SO, or maybe it’s to hang out with the guys/girls when they know their SO wouldn’t approve. Who knows, but they do it. And they do it all the time. I don’t *hate* those people, but come on. What’s wrong with being honest? If you can’t be honest with your SO about what you’re doing maybe you shouldn’t be with them?
But then there’s me. Sometimes, like mentioned in my honest dating profile, I can be honest to a fault. I’m finding out being honest can be problematic when you’re SO (like mine) is, by nature, extremely sensitive. Like, really sensitive. So in order to avoid arguments, I lie sometimes. Is that so bad? (Smart) Guys apparently do it when girls ask if they look fat to spare their feelings. It’s the same thing, right?
I’ve gathered some examples of when I’ve lied for the sake of the relationship:
– When he complains about something that happened at work and I think he’s overreacting. You can’t really tell your sensitive man he’s overreacting when he’s already upset about something. So I tell him “I understand”. But I don’t. I have no fucking clue why he’s so upset.
– When I say I like his tattoos. To be totally fair, I do love ONE of them. It’s totally hot. But the others are the worst. I love him, so it doesn’t break the relationship but if he was just some dude on the street I would probably make fun of these particular tattoos. But who wants to hear their tattoos suck? They’re on him forever. He can’t do anything about them but cover them up — but that should be his choice, not mine (unfortunately).
– When other people tell him he’s being sensitive and I want to agree. This isn’t really a lie, it’s just not chiming in. I totally agree with the people most of the time, but I’m not going to say that. Let those other people be on the shit list while I “console”. Yeah, that’s much better than agreeing.
– When I say something doesn’t bother me. Okay Guys, I know a lot of you can’t stand it when your ladies say “it’s fine.” “Nothing is wrong.” “It’s OK.”, because you know something is wrong. And I know you think it will just come up later in another argument as ammo. Sometimes it does, but sometimes I say it’s fine because I genuinely want whatever stupid argument is going on to BE OVER. Resolving it really doesn’t matter as much as getting off the dumb subject. Because 90% of the time, it’s a really dumb subject. So even if I’m still irritated, I’ll try to end it by pretending like it’s OK.
My super honest self has a hard time not being truthful but I’ve had to change the way I approach things with his feelings and what not. Should I be totally honest? Should I just not say anything? No – that won’t work. He always questions when I’m quiet. Is this destined to fail? You tell me!