Tswift during her performance, courtesy of

Is it because I’m old now?  Did it only take a few extra years on my life to realize that the VMAs kinda suck?  Or was it just this year?

First of all, as an old person would do, I DVR’d it. A two hour long show turned into less than an hour before my eyes!  I guess I shouldn’t expect the Grammys or the the Emmys, but I would have hoped to see more from the host, Kevin Hart.  Especially since I think he’s actually hilarious, but only laughed a few times.  OK, once at the Dwight Howard/Kobe joke.

Second, who the f*ck are these people winning awards?? It’s very clear to me that you don’t really need much talent to win a music video award.  You just need to have a lot of teenage-girls love you.  Which serves me right for watching.  I told you I was too old for this.

Third, you can tell even the celebrities (except Nicki Minaj’s over dramatic ass) think it’s a joke.  Katy Perry and Rhianna are sitting together like senior girls on their way out of high school at a school assembly not paying attention, not caring, and knowing they’re hot sh*t.  Did Rhianna just really dust off her shoulder after hearing her name called for Video of the Year?

Most of the performances were sub-par.  I will commend tried and true Green Day for rocking from the floor and letting people rush their stage.  And Taylor Swift’s performance was actually pretty great (and refreshing to see that while not the best, she sang her own song while dancing around.  No lip-syncing).  But wait, wasn’t she country?  When did she turn so hipster? Oh, right. MTV will do that to you.

My biggest gripe?  The tribute to Adam “MCA” Yauch of the Beastie Boys.  Seriously, you guys?  Not even a verbal mention?!  The Beastie Boys were an integral part in MTVs history, and that’s the tribute you give?  A split-second of a song and a screen shot for five seconds?  Disgusting.

Yes, I think I am too old for this.  Most of those kids probably have no idea who MCA or the Beastie Boys were.  And how would they?  It’s not like MTV plays actual music videos, and if they did, they certainly would play old vids.

Oh, and was it just me, but when Kevin Hart started talking about mistakes, the first thought that came to my mind was Teen Mom?!?!

I’m thinking I need to petition for an actual music channel.

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