Adventures in “Just Friends”.

At the beginning of the summer I started dating a guy whom I met through one of my best friends.  I thought he was good looking and would get excited when I knew he would be joining us for a night.  The crush turned into something more  when I got some liquid courage and basically threw myself at him.  It’s not my usual M.O., but lately I’ve been in the YOLO mindset (please don’t hate me for using this term, I know it’s overused, but I also find it handy!).  Long story short, we started dating despite a few words of warning by my friend.  (I never listen in the beginning.  Hell, I never listen when I don’t want to.)  A few months later, I was blurting out “I think we should just be friends.” at him. 

Maybe this is how getting old is, but we had a good talk after that and then ended up getting something to eat for dinner afterwards.  Nothing had changed much other than we weren’t “dating” anymore.  It made me happy, and I hope he was happy too.  We’re even heading to see Dave Matthews Band at the Gorge this weekend together.  I see us being amazing friends, and instead of being sad I lost a potential mate, I’m happy I found a new friend.  If everything goes well, I’m pretty sure we could be best of friends.  We could be an example of how “just friends” could work.  Right? Anyway…

An example of how “just friends” can be bad?  Keep reading.

A few days ago Nate* told me he scored tickets to the pre-season Seahawks game.  I half-jokingly told him he should take me.  For a few days he was trying to decide who he should take, but at 11:59PM last night sent me a text saying “Bring your gear to work”.  I woke up and read the text first thing in the morning, simply replying with a smiley face.  When Nate and I dated, I don’t think we ever did anything fun like see a sporting event together, so I was actually flattered and a little excited that he was willing to go out and do something fun with me, even if we were “just friends” now.

I couldn’t find any of my ‘Hawks gear, so I set out this morning with the intention to do a little shopping during my lunch to find some new stuff.  All day I was excited to get to catch the game.  I love football, but even more seeing live games.  Tickets are up-the-ass insanely expensive so anytime I’m offered a chance to go, I take it.

I snuck (that’s a word, ask Conan) out of work a few minutes early only to find half way to the freeway that I left my wallet in my car.  I turned around, grabbed it, and started out 20 minutes later than I had hoped.  I work on the eastside, and there’s only one real option I can take to get to Seattle from the east side which is a two lane bridge across Lake Washington that is tolled.  As I’m getting on the freeway, I see the drive time to get to Seattle is 51 minutes. 51 MINUTES!? With no traffic, it takes like 11 minutes! I got in line in traffic, sat there irritated and stewing as five lanes of traffic tried to merge into four, then three, then two.  Kick-off was at 7PM and it was 15 to 6 at the beginning of this 51 minute drive.

I finally get to the other end of the bridge and get on the freeway to Seattle. Backed-up.  Get off the exit to pick up Nate.  Backups. Everywhere.  He instructs me to go down 1st (which I knew was a horrible idea, but I did anyway) where we move about a half-mile every 10 minutes.  If that.  We were still a few miles away when kick-off had passed.

We’re finally just steps away from the stadium (but in traffic) when he starts saying that he’d rather just skip the game and go have dinner.  The first two times I shot him looks and even said something like “I made it this far, I’m not turning around.”  Finally once or twice more of him saying it and I got pissed.  Of course he would not want to go… I kept thinking.  He never did anything or wanted to do anything like this when we were dating, WHAT on earth would make me think that anything has changed? 

Finally after he said something about skipping it again, I got pissed and decided to turn around.  “No, there’s a parking garage right there, we can park there and go.” He says, sounding irritated.  So I turn into the parking Garage asking him if he was sure.  We squabble for a bit in front of the lady taking money before we threw $40 bucks at her and we drove into the garage. We argued up all five floors about whether or not to go before I finally was like “Fuck it. No. Forget it.”  Because of our arguing, I already knew he was going to be in a less than perfect mood, besides the fact that even for a sports fan, his energy is less than sub-par and he gets bored easily.  I didn’t want to try to muster up enthusiasm after our argument just for him to have none at all and have a crappy time.  So we left.

He kept going on about it, and we kept arguing until I just started crying.  We *always* argued when we dated, and now our only real outing ended before it could begin because of his apathy vs. my need for liveliness.  What is our f*cking problem?!

I feel that if you’re friends with an ex, it should be because you enjoy their company and want to be around them despite the unfortunate problem of not having chemistry, as opposed to be reminded why you ended things with that person in the first place.

I don’t think Nate and I will be going to another event anytime soon. If ever.  And I’m OK with that.

Seahawks won, by the way.

xoxo,

B.

*name changed

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One thought on “Adventures in “Just Friends”.

  1. Pingback: Once in a Blue Moon… | This One B.

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