The Long and the Short of it Is…
Remember back when I went on a little tirade about guys and the desperate zone? Well ladies out there, now it’s your turn to be in the hot seat for a little “talking-to” by none other than yours truly.
I hear a lot of women (and sometimes, even myself) complain about not being able to find a guy that measures up to their “high standards”. Sometimes I have to ask what they consider standards, because some of these so-called standards are just ridiculous.
Take for instance a friend of mine who I love dearly, but has some of the most bizarre “standards” I’ve seen. I’m not going to say her standards are ridiculously high, because they’re not. I’ve seen her turn down nice, good looking, respectable, guys and go for better looking guys who happen to be assholes that treat her like crap. If her standards were at all high, she wouldn’t for one minute accept how some of the guys she has dated act.
After reading a post by my favorite Badass regarding height – it occurred to me that most of the women I talk to list certain heights as “requirements”. He can’t be shorter than 6′. He has to be at least 2″ taller than me when I have heels on.
REALLY!? Really? Really.
C’mon, let’s think about this for a second:
Since when has a person’s height had ANYTHING to do with the things that matter? Like if he’ll treat you well, make you laugh, have good conversations with you or even give you great sex!? Give me a one good reason, ladies, that being short has anything do with that without putting your own insecurities out there.
We can’t sit back and blame men for making us not feel pretty enough, not thin enough or sexy enough if we have the same superficial standards we *think* they have (which I’m finding, most don’t).
Case in point: My dad. My dad is tough, gruff, intimidating. He’s a guys-guy who played sports, watches sports, into cars, drinks beer, listens to classic rock, hunts, fishes, owns guns, and takes good care of his family. He three daughters and no sons and still remains the epitome of masculinity in American society. He also happens to be shorter than me. He claims to be 5’6″ (but my mom and I are pretty sure he probably runs more along the line of 5’4″-5’5″). I never think of my dad as “short”. I’m also sure the reason my mom fell in love with him and continued to be with him for 25 years or his ability to take care of her and our family had nothing to do with his height.
Whenever I get the “he’s not tall enough” spiel from a girl, I know that she either hasn’t given him a real chance or she’s not really into him but can’t find a rational reason other than throwing out some out-of-date requirement. Get over it ladies.
OK short guys, sometimes you’re not complete angels either. This height insecurity/stereotype/cliche/whatever it is isn’t solely on the girls. I’ve seen plenty of girls (and have known a couple) out and about with their men and they’re a considerable difference in height. I understand it might be hard for you to handle a girl who is taller than you so I’m here to give it to you simply: Man up.
I was a freshman in high school and had recently broken up with my boyfriend (who happened to be a couple inches shorter than me!). Part of the reason we broke up is that I started developing a crush on Vinh (name changed!) and didn’t want to be attached if anything were to happen (to be completely honest, I was a bit of a serial dater…more on that later). On my 15th birthday, Vinh sent me a dozen roses and balloons with a cute little card attached to them. My birthday is just a few days before valentines day so to return the favor, I ordered him one of those flowers they hand out at school on Valentines Day.
On the day of Valentines Day, Vinh came up to me in the hall with the cheap flower in hand. He asked me if he could meet me after school the following day, and I agreed. Since the following day was a half-day and he had asked me to meet him, I decided to dress up a little. I wore a skirt and some heels and put a little more effort into what I looked like that day – despite the fact it was a game day, and usually on game days I wore my basketball warmup gear.
I waited for him outside the gym after school like he told me to. He walked up to me, said I looked beautiful and engaged in small talk. He then told me he had to leave. I wracked my brain for weeks why he would tell me to wait for him after school and then have nothing important to do or say. Finally a few weeks later I got the nerve to confront him (over AIM, of course) about why he did that.
“I was going to ask you to be my girlfriend. But then I saw you in heels. You were too tall for me.”
Wow. I had never had a problem dating or liking a shorter guy and those shorter guys had never had a problem with me, either. It was really sad to me that two people who really liked each other were kept a part by simple insecurities. AND – we were the same height when I didn’t wear heels!
The fact is, no one likes discrimination. Everyone wants a chance – and I feel that height is something neither men or women should be ruled out automatically for. Let’s pretend plastic surgery doesn’t exist for a second and think about something you don’t like about yourself that unfortunately you can’t change. How would you feel if someone said “oh, I don’t date girls with bumps on the bridge of their noses.”? or “I don’t date brunettes” or “I don’t date people with small ears” or whatever your insecurity revolves around. My guess is not very good.
I’ve been discriminated over something I can’t change a few times. I always figure if a person is going to discriminate you over something then f*ck ’em. No, not literally. You know what I mean! Who wants a rotten apple, anyway?
And to you discriminators…stop being rotten apples.
That is all.