The Do’s and Don’ts to Dating a B.

While I obsess over wondering if the title to this post is grammatically correct, I want to make a point that I am not so self-absorbed that I’d make a serious attempt to let WordPresser’s and Googler’s alike know how to date just me.  Though these Dos and Don’ts (seriously, how the hell do you properly write this phrase?!) come from my own opinion and experience, I know for a fact that a lot of women and some men can relate.  Some of these Do’s and Don’t’s (I don’t even know wtf I’m writing at this point) will be explained in detail later on in the life of This One B.  but right now I’m going to try to let you know what things work, and which don’t (I should have said this earlier) as simply and straightforward as possible. I’m making no promises though – you know how I love to ramble.

Do be a conversationalist. Even if you’re normally a quiet person, there’s a reason to be talkative when you first date a girl.  You want to get to know me, right? If I wanted 1-3 word answers for each question I ask, I’d go buy a Magic 8 Ball and date it.
Don’t take over the conversation or constantly interrupt.  Conversations during dates are between 2 people.  Understand that there’s a give and receive – please get used to this concept.
Do take initiative.  I know this is the 21st century and women are (supposedly) your equals – but I still want a little traditionalism.  I think some women would agree.
Don’t ask me if I want to go out and then ask me where I want to go.  You’re asking me, which usually means you’re treating me, which means you should be in charge of that.  If I ask you, I’ll plan. Fair enough?
Do ask me out if you want to date.
Don’t
ask me out if you want a purely physical relationship.  If I wanted one, I could have one, I wouldn’t be dating guys to find a new one.
Do at least seem interested in what I have to say.  It’s only one date – if you’re not interested then you don’t have to go on a second one but make this one at least tolerable!  I would extend the same courtesy.
Do compliment me. You’ll at least get a smile, if not a compliment in return.
Don’t come to a date still seeing your ex, in love with your ex, sleeping with your ex, living with your ex or anything of the like.  Everyone has baggage, but try to get rid of most of it as possible before you start dating other people.
Do text.  I know there is this whole rule about waiting a day to call or something like that – but with how bombarded we Gen-Yers are with communication through technology we don’t need such rules.  First, no one makes calls anymore and secondly – texting the next day to say you enjoyed yourself doesn’t hurt.  The worst that can happen is for you to not receive one back, right?
Don’t talk about sex on the first date, constantly talk about it, or pressure me with it.  That’s the quickest way to turn me off or make me walk away.  If you’re that frustrated, go get a prostitute or your own fuck buddy.  Like I said before – If I only wanted someone to jump in bed with, I wouldn’t go on a date to find it.
Do try something new with me.
Don’t play games.  We’re big kids now – the games should be in high school where we left them.  Being honest and straightforward is sexy.
Do tease me a little.  There’s a fine line between playing games and flirting – so know it.
Don’t be what I call a Not-So-“Nice-Guy”.  (Post about this coming soon).  To sum it up, it’s basically being a sore loser.
Do be confident.  I think it’s universally known between men and women that confidence is sexy.  Unless you’re the type to prey on weak people and if that’s the case – you probably wouldn’t want to date me, anyway.

Taking notes? Learn anything?  Anything to add? Let me know!

xoxo,

B.

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2 thoughts on “The Do’s and Don’ts to Dating a B.

  1. DO – Dress in appropriate attire for where you are going. If you had the common sense to know where you’re going beforehand, you should know you shouldn’t have worn your Motley Crue t-shirt to a French restaurant. (Also possible you shouldn’t wear that shirt ANYWHERE, but I digress…)
    DON’T – Get your drunk on during your date. Nobody thinks you’re cool because you did 5 Jagerbombs except your frat buddies. I’m sure we can arrange for you to date one of them.
    DO – Smell nice. If not nice, smell like you didn’t just come back from the gym or from working 20 hours at the ham factory.
    DO – Pay for dinner. Fellas, c’mon. It’s a small price to pay for the company of a woman you like. Man up.
    DON’T – Constantly look at your phone. It’s not the freakin’ Pope. Let it go to voicemail. And if you’re a heart surgeon who is on call, put down the glass of Pinot.

    Looking forward to the next one B!! Great work as always!

    • Oooh thank you for those! The phone one is especially irritating to me. I’ve been on several first dates where a guy will leave his phone in the car or in his pocket but it’s like that goes out the window after the first date. Even if I have a boyfriend, I want his phone away during a meal. In fact, I think that’s a rule for anyone. I hate seeing phones out at dinner!

      I’ve never had a guy NOT try to pay for dinner on the first date but I will always offer to pay at least half. I know it’s shame on me for playing a game – but if he lets me, I secretly judge. Maybe it’s the whole liking things to be a bit traditional but when I dated a guy who refused to let me pay for anything, ever – it was a major turn on. Not to say I expect that or even feel 100% comfortable with it, it just felt good to feel like I deserved to be treated.

      Oh yes, and smelling good. I’m convinced one of the best things in life is a really good smelling man. 🙂

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