He’ll Get Here, When He Gets Here.

Hi! I’m B! I’m a spinster!

Okay, I’m not really a spinster, but I have been single for about 4 years now.  OK, that isn’t completely honest either.  The truth of the matter is, I’ve spent the last 4 years dating people people here and there but have yet to settle into a long term relationship. After so many years, I was feeling like I needed to get serious about finding a “boyfriend”. I mean, it’s time right?  A lot of my close friends, if they aren’t in long-term relationships already are starting to enter into them.  Ex boyfriends and girls I was friends with in high school are starting to get married and even have babies! So, feeling the pressure I naturally start putting myself out there – looking for guys when I go out, having my friends set me up, and even maintaining an active online dating account.

A few weeks ago, I went on a date with a guy who had messaged me online.  Before we went out, we exchanged phone numbers and spent the days leading up to the date text messaging back and forth. Overall, the date went well.  We went to dinner and spent a good couple of hours talking after we had finished eating.  We shared stories, made each other laugh and found out we had more in common than we thought.  But that was that. After the date was over, it was like out-of-sight, out-of-mind.  Why did I not care of this person liked me or not?  Why did I not care if he wanted to go on a second date?  Why didn’t I care to see a good looking guy who I got along with and seemed to have an interest in me, again?

That’s when I fully started to realize why despite my efforts, I haven’t cared – I’ve been looking for a relationship for all the wrong reasons.  Just because it’s been a while and just because it seems like the social norm to try to find a boyfriend and just because my good friends are attached or trying to find someone for themselves does not mean I have to.

I guess I’ll just take the advice of every person before me and accept that no matter how I feel about dating or not dating, that the right person will 1) make me want to date when I find them and 2) Accept my crazy and 3) get here when he gets here, at just the moment he was supposed to.  (If anyone watches HIMYM, cue: Season 4, Episode 23: “As Fast as She Can” for a scene that literally makes me tear up for ol’ Ted).

But future “Mr. Right” should know the Type-A, planning freak side of me just wants to at least know ETA so I can stop worrying about it.  Is that so much to ask!?

3 thoughts on “He’ll Get Here, When He Gets Here.

  1. I don’t think it’s wrong to want to know an ETA. We all do. We want to have a guarantee that all this worrying we’re doing isn’t just our own personal insanity getting the better of us. That there is a bowl of Lucky Charms at the other end of the rainbow.
    I think you hit the nail on the head about your date. I think you didn’t care because you were forcing yourself to care. Also there’s always that expectation you have (albeit often subconsciously) of your date, and most of the time it never lives up to the hype in your head. When you’re in love, you want to fall head over heels, and if your head doesn’t even dip below your shoulders, it just doesn’t feel right! But don’t give up. It’s out there somewhere.

    • It’s just an odd feeling for me to not have love and a relationship in the forefront of my mind. My friends used to joke I was born boy crazy and my mom said as a baby and toddler I was fixated on men.

      In the past couple of years I started to date initially because I had time and did want to be in a relationship. Eventually I started to do it just for the experience. I would go on dates with guys and have these stories that my friends craved hearing (and still make me repeat once in a while). It became my own source of entertainment rather than wanting to actually meet guys, which I figured wasn’t fair to them.

      I haven’t given up, I just know that it’ll happen when it’s supposed to happen so I can just stop worrying about outside pressures to get into a relationship.

  2. Pingback: This One B.

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