Smart Phone? More Like Stupid Phone!

I couldn’t tell you how many times in the past five years of me owning a “smart phone” that I’ve exclaimed those words as my phone froze, or got buggy, or wouldn’t load something fast enough. Until yesterday.

So, the phone that I have now isn’t the best quality of smart phones, but it’s a smart phone (Android O/S) nonetheless.  Lately, it’s been doing weird things like turning off randomly or being really slow (which may or may not be from all the times I’ve dropped it and/or that one time that I dropped it in the toilet while I was getting ready for work).  The battery will also run pretty hot and sometimes, if I fall asleep while texting (or playing draw something!) that it will overheat and display a message.

Friday night, I was so miserably tired that I didn’t really realize what I was doing.  The next morning I woke up, realizing I slept on top of my phone, and it was off.  I assumed the battery died (like it does now if I don’t charge it during the night) so I would just have to throw it on the charger and let it get some juice before turning it back on again.

Except, the battery charging screen didn’t turn on.

A half an hour later, still nothing.

An hour later, still nothing.  I couldn’t turn the phone on at all. I start panicking, connecting it to different chargers, trying to get it to charge before I began to admit that my dear phone may have gone quietly and peacefully in my sleep.

This is what popped up in the Google Image search when I Googled "Stupid Phones". It has nothing to do with my story.

At one point in the day, I was allowed to borrow a friend’s old spare. One of the texts I got was an unrecognized number, undoubtedly because I had saved that number just to my phone.  I responded with “Eric?” only to get three follow up texts, each growing more worried, as I tried to type.  “Yes?” “What’s up?” and “Hello? Are you okay?”.  YES. I JUST CAN’T TYPE ON THIS THING!!

I wanted to cry.  My phone that I’ve cussed at, dropped, threw, and didn’t stop fast enough before it fell into a toilet has become my lifeline.  For a few hours before I got the dumb phone loaner, I was completely cut off.  No texting, no calls, no DRAW SOMETHING, no checking-in, no tweet checking, no navigation, no NOTHING.  I just wanted to curl up with my knees to my chest in a corner singing Joni Mitchell’s “Big Yellow Taxi”.  Except, she’s talking about nature. I’m talking about what destroyed her trees – technology.

After a full day of being without my phone – while hunting craigslist and wondering if using my insurance for the phone was worth it, my phone still sat on a charger. I still had an ounce of hope alive that it would come back, connected to that charger like life support.  Then, as I went to check on it with one last piece of hope – it miraculously turned on.  I practically screamed with excitement as I swiped through the locked screen and went through my phone. I wanted to rock it like a baby and tell it I would never take it for granted ever, ever again! I love you phone! I really do!!

I did learn through all the drama of not having my phone that I do take my phone for granted. I mean Jeez, people.  We have practically everything at our fingertips with these yet we always complain about them.  They’re not fast enough, they don’t have enough capabilities, they don’t let us do this or that – but do we ever think “LOOK AT ALL THAT I HAVE! Right here! In this little machine!”? Hardly ever.  I mean, my phone is still chugging along with all it’s smart-ness after it took a complete dive in a toilet! THAT is impressive.

I’m going to continue living in bliss with my handy dandy phone.  All the while knowing it will probably croak on me again, so I’ll be buying a new one just in case.

Sorry phone, I love you – but that doesn’t mean I’m naive enough to believe you’ll be with me until my contract’s up!

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One thought on “Smart Phone? More Like Stupid Phone!

  1. It also should be noted that I never get text messages or any other responses until the one day where I lose my phone. Suddenly, every family member wants to check on me, my friends all want to hang out on that one day, and I get 47 requests for some odd game. It’s honestly Murphy’s Law Gone Techno.

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