Things That Make Me Go AGHH! (Part One)
I call this segment of irritants part one but the reality is I do not have a second part yet. Despite that, I know that there will inevitably be more things I’ll rant about and because I like things organized it will have to match-up nicely with previous rants. I’m sure part two will show up someday.
Now, I don’t like to be negative all the time. I’m bringing you this list with the intent to later supplement it with things that make me smile. Let’s hope for the sake of you and those around me that inspirations of optimism come soon. Warning: Language.
Only in Seattle would there be traffic one morning because transplants can’t drive in the rain, traffic the next morning because natives can’t drive in the sun glare, and traffic the day after that because no one can drive if a snowflake or two falls. I suppose this is two “AGH!”s in one because it’s focused on both the traffic and the weather. I wish the sky would make up it’s mind and people would hurrythefuckup.
2. Pissy people
I hate it when there are those people that take one thing during the day and blow it out of proportion and then make everyone else around them feel the tension they’re emanating like stink from a sewage plant. I realize I’m the pot calling the kettle black right now but I don’t let it affect how I interact with other people throughout my day. I just want to say “Honestly, get over it. Or at least get it out of your system and move on.” (Precisely what I’m doing here!)
3. People who stand too close to me in line
I can’t stand it when someone gets behind me in line, entirely too close for anyone’s bubble, let alone mine (my bubble is very large). I take a step forward, they take a step forward. Do they NOT realize I’m trying to distance myself from them? Do they NOT understand how to read nonverbal cues?! Do they NOT UNDERSTAND HOW TO BACK THE FUCK UP!? I sit and stew about how close they are and move around trying to get them to realize I’m trying to get away from them. Sometimes I want to pretend I don’t know they’re so close, then take a step back and step on their foot or something. Oh, sorry…I didn’t mean to step on your shoe. Perhaps I wouldn’t have if you had spaced yourself AT AN APPROPRIATE DISTANCE! Nothing wants to make me turn around and strangle the person behind me more than when they’re way. too. close.
I’ve seriously had it. I don’t think there’s a pair of jeans within 10 miles of my house that fits me right. I’ve never had a problem finding bootcut jeans but for some reason, I can’t find a pair of skinny jeans or jeggings that fit me well to save my life. My legs are so insanely ill-proportioned to the rest of me. It’s like my body is one of those double popsicles and my legs are just the sticks. Every pair that fits around my waist looks like I’m trying to store shit in my pants. Maybe I should rename this one “my mom” for giving me no ass and chicken legs.
5. The Radio, Katy Perry and that fucking “Moves Like Jagger” song
Some days I just want to throw a rock at my radio. Why do I have to click to four different radio presets and hear the same damn song!? Why the fuck is “Moves Like Jagger” playing every 15 seconds on every radio station in Seattle?! That song was played out 2 seconds after it started last summer. I used to really like Adam Levine and Maroon 5 but between that song and the fucking “Stereo Hearts” song I want to assault the radio as much as he’s assaulting my ears and intelligence. And Katy Perry, for God’s sakes do you have ANY song that doesn’t sound like the same regurgitated pop throw-up?! Is it just me or does every fucking Katy Perry song sound exactly the same with different words? I heard an acoustic version of one of her songs and I thought it was miles better than those fucking pop beats. I used to listen to the radio when I wanted to hear something new. Now all it is, is the same damn songs rotated over and over in between ads. Even stations that don’t play current music rotate the same fucking songs over and over again. Jesus.
5. People who show up uninvited
Whether it’s assholes who show up at my office without an appointment because they think our time isn’t valuable or people who decide to pop up at your house unannounced, I hate it. Unless you’re one of my best friends that lives in another state or my mom (sometimes not even my mom) then you should never surprise me. I’m too much of a control freak for this.
6. When I finish a TV series on Netflix
Seriously, what am I going to watch now? Netflix is like flipping through cable. So much to choose from yet you don’t want to watch anything.
What is making you go “AGHH!”?? Don’t leave me hanging, I don’t want to be the sole jerk today!