Holiday Boyfriend Wanted: Enquire Within.
Some E-cards. Have you heard of it? It’s the best website ever. If you haven’t, go now. Every Friday I get a newsletter from them and this (I swear) is the ONLY newsletter I read from beginning to end and it’s NOT just because most of them are pictures with only a sentence on them, but because they’re fucking hilarious. Hilarious! Well they have this sister website called “Happy Place” where they post all sorts of random hilarity. One of my favorites, is Unintentionally Inappropriate Test Answers from Young Children . If you don’t laugh, your inner 4th grader is officially dead and you have no sense of humor.
Anyway, when I came into my office today and saw my weekly email from Someecards.com, I happened upon this little number:
The posting was put on Happy Place to make fun of the guy and I know most of you are thinking this guy is nuts. But while all of you are thinking he’s nuts, I’m thinking he’s genius. He has said exactly what I’ve been thinking since Halloween. I even mentioned it to a close friend recently:
I just want a guy who I don’t have to answer to or have responsibilities towards but still can hang out with me to do cutesy couple stuff, accompany me to events, and someone to show off to my family to let them know I’m not a lesbian and/or a loser!
I am, for the first time in my life, at a point where I really don’t want the responsibility of a full-time boyfriend but yeah, the holidays DO suck and this guy? Well, I wish he lived in Seattle (though let’s face it, this is Craiglist and he’s probably either lying about being easy on the eyes or lying about being outgoing). Otherwise, we sound like the perfect “Holidays-Only” couple.
Me: Mediocre on the eyes, entry-level job employee/student that can cook and massage your face off (not literally). Annoyingly outgoing.
You: Devastatingly handsome Asian-American with at least one degree and a good job. Extremely hilarious and can cook and massage just as well as I can. Extra bonus if you can sit through horribly bad Lifetime and Hallmark Channel Christmas movies. I know this isn’t a completely equal deal but work with me here!
…And everyone wonders why I don’t have a boyfriend? 😉